Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Hillary Clintons Night Out


Saturday night, I went to this nasty ass venue at 1am for a killer show by my friends band, Cannibal Kids. It was right by the airport, which for the most part isn't the greatest neighborhood, on the second floor of a warehouse in a shopping center. It lacked proper air-conditioning and lighting, so as I walked up the stairs, my glasses began to fog up and I had no idea where I was going. I slid across the floors (shout out to the condensation) to find the bathroom. If the pierced girl who I paid my entry fee too hadn't told me the bathroom was in the back and to the left, I would still be lost today. 

A flyer for the show encouraged people to bring blow-up dolls, which seemed interesting . I went out and bought one named Horny Hillary based off the Hillary Rodham Clinton. She's a lot more lifelike  than to the real Hillary. I brought her to hang out at my friends house before the concert, and she had a great time. I had to throw her in a bush when my friends sisters surprised us outside, but once they left Hilz came out to party. We went on the swing set, and danced to Rihanna, she had a really great night. But she was pretty disappointed when I had to leave her in my car once I got to the show and realized no one else had a god damn inflatable woman. 
Of course Horny Hilz is wearing a shirt. She may be a blow-up doll, but she's still a lady.                                            
Cannibal Kids had the crowd jumping around and pretending they were at a bonfire on the west coast, which was nothing new from them. Despite the shit venue, everyone was having a great time. Having friends around you while you listen to some great tunes tends to help you forget about the shitty situations you're in. 

Getting Hillary into my room at 3am was less difficult than I thought it'd be, I forgot she was a fake human filled with air. I threw her into the corner, and fell asleep. My family discovered her the next morning, and enjoyed her a lot more than I thought they would. When you're teaching children about human anatomy, I highly recommend buying a blow-up doll (it doesn't have to be a Hillary Clinton replica). 

It was a killer night, a long hellish night, but killer nonetheless. 

Good night pals, love ya!  

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