Saturday, February 27, 2016

Blow-up Doll Concert

Ya'll are pervs. The post I published on Tuesday got significantly more views than anything else I've posted this week. Lesson learned, I've just gotta threaten to have boobies in a post for it to be popular.

I've got a few friends down for the weekend, and a friend who's band is playing a show on Saturday night. I'm expecting it to be an interesting night, considering the show is at 1 am. I'm not much of a night owl unless I'm sitting in my bedroom. I haven't been outside past midnight in a while, so I really have no idea what its like. What happens past midnight? Is it safe? Do I turn into a monster once the moon comes out? We'll see tomorrow night.

My friend who's playing suggested we bring blow-up dolls to the show, because apparently thats what everyone will be doing. I've never touched a blow-up doll in my life, so I'm pretty pumped. Part of me wants to go out and buy one, but another part of me realizes that I shouldn't buy an inflatable woman for a one night event. Where would I even buy one? I wish I could just rent one. Like balloon prostitution.

Look forward to a vlog coming out sometime before Monday here, and in the mean time, catch up on my latest vids. Hope you all have a great weekend. Love ya, pals!

Friday, February 26, 2016

I Started Writing a Rom-Com!

I recently mentioned that I fell in love with Love, one of Netflix's newest original series. I describe it as the rom-com millennials deserve, it's reminiscent of the good ol' days were a lady would use cum as hair gel and Richard Gere would pay a prostitute to be fancy. While it evokes the same feelings that a classic would, it's writing is fresh and new. The soundtrack includes some of the most underrated love/anti-love songs of our time, from This is The Way of The World by Earth Wind and Fire to Just a Friend by Biz Markie.

Coming off the 'love' high, both from real life love and the show Love, I was inspired to start writing a script. I'm not sure whether I want it to be a rom-com or an anti-rom-com, or if I'll even continue to write this. There're some obvious parallels between the writing, my love life, and Love. The story would basically be a guy breaking up with someone, and being incredibly heartbroken. His friend comes to help him out, realizing he doesn't really have a life since he committed his all to the relationship

It's a pretty simple concept, so it wouldn't be too hard to shoot myself if it reached that point. But I've only written a page of a script, so I shouldn't get ahead of myself. It would obviously need a shit ton of tweaking to get to that point.

Its kinda weird to share something like that on here, since I'm always posting strictly autobiographical stuff. You'd think I'd be more scared of posting details of my life than sharing something from my imagination. Love ya, pals! 

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Chandelier: The Musical!

I just left The Phantom of The Opera (Or Chandelier: The Musical!) and holy fuck. I started to tear up when the chandelier came out, it was honestly the best part of the show. The actors, the music, the costumes, they were great, sure! BUT THAT FUCKING CHANDELIER THOUGH!!! I never thought I'd be a light fixtures biggest fan. I started to tear up when it lit up for the first time while DAAAA DUM DAA DUM DAAAA was playing on the organ. The shows technical aspects were unlike anything I'd ever seen before. The set reminded me of something I would've played with when I was a kid, excluding the pyrotechnics. I really identified with the Phantom, because I would also hold a theater full of people hostage till they performed the musical I wrote. 

While I enjoy theater, its kinda where I draw the line between what I enjoy and what I can to do. I think its a lot of fun, but I highly doubtful that I'd be able to become a successful stage actor. The blow of lacking theatrical acting ability is softened by my constant pretending that I'm in a musical. 

I've got a busy day filled with Oscar Nominees and math homework planned for tomorrow, so I should go get some sleep. Love ya, pals! 

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Very Adult

I received my first Jury Duty letter. I've wanted to do this since I was a kid, which is fucking awesome, but what the hell am I supposed to do with work? And school? How does one become an internet sensation when one has no access to cell phones and is trying to solve a trial? As much as I want a big crazy case, how the hell am I supposed to not live tweet it?

I did some shopping at Whole Foods, and I'm planning on cooking myself a sun dried tomato scramble (based of this video) tomorrow morning. I'm slowly trying to learn how to cook foods that aren't microwaved, and its kind of working out? I'm hoping that once I move out, I'll be able to cook at least a weeks worth of food. Once I start learning how to cook more for myself, and realize how easy it is, I hope that'll lean me off of fast food a bit. For updates on how the sun dried tomato scramble, follow me on Snapchat @chriismolina!!

This week is shaping up to be really good, and hopefully that'll carry over into the weekend! Love ya, pals!

Monday, February 22, 2016

I Think I Found A Balance

Remember last week when I was conflicted between wanting to create quality content but also wanting it to look nice?

Well, I'm starting to balance the two. I've signed up for a space that'll look much better than this piece of crap. I'm not sure when it'll be ready, but my friend Thomas helped me figure out its "aesthetic"(by extension its my aesthetic, because this websites just an extension of me) by creating a "mood board." You can check it out here, I think its awesome and perfectly sums up what I want. Thomas described it as "Post-90's Disneycore" which oddly enough describes me perfectly.

I also made a video for the third weekend in a row. Hooray for consistency! As I discover more people who create videos, I'm gathering elements that I enjoy and would like to incorporate into my own. I discovered I liked faster moving videos when I saw my Baz Luhrmann movie, but didn't realize I could apply that to something thats more like a home video than a big budget movie till I dove deeper into the world of youtube. You can watch my newest video below!

I hope you all have a great week! Love ya, pals! 

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Friday Recap On Whats Technically Now Saturday

Sure, its technically Saturday, but f that lets look back on Friday!

I woke up feeling a bit cloudy mentally/physically and wasn't sure what to do about it. I did groceries for myself, watched Love on Netflix (its really funny, highly recommend it), nothing too special. My best bud, Thomas, called me during his lunch break and I told him how I was feeling and he suggested I work out. I was hesitate, but he told me to stop making excuses when I know I'd feel better if I worked out. Thomas was right (as they tend to be), and within an hour I felt a lot better. I went to work on a work out high, and crushed it!

Once I got home, I rested for a bit before going to my friend, Loegan's, brothers basketball game. I'm pretty sure I've written about them before, but just incase lets do a quick flashback. A few weeks ago Loegan invited me to a game, and I went just for the hell of it. Since its middle schoolers, I wasn't expecting anything great. Little did I know, these games are intense as hell! I've started to enjoy going not only to spend time with my friends, but surprisingly because I enjoy the games! After tonights game, I had to play bus driver for a quick sec and drive my brother and sister home from a show at school. After that I met with my friends Isabella and Daniel at P.F Changs, and celebrated a late Chinese New Year. I hadn't seen them in a few weeks, so it was really great to hang and catch up. I was a bit worried that I'd end up third wheeling, but it felt like the total opposite and was hella fun.

I drove home sleepy, ready to lay down and write my post for the day and I'm now doing just that. I hope you all have a great weekend! Love ya, pals!

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Albums Getting Me Through The Week

I started math homework a month in advance, and I transferred money to my savings account. Adulthood is fast approaching!

For the past week, I've exclusively listened to a mix of The Life of Pablo by Kanye West, Hamilton, and Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen. Pablo pumps me the fuck up, and gives me balls when I seem to have lost mine. Theres something about Kanye's fearlessness that really inspires me to put myself out there. Hamilton, the musical thats taken over the country, has been my thing since last fall. But recently I've stuck to the last few songs of the musical, which I think hold the most impact. It really gets me off my ass, and trying to advance myself. It's also partly inspired my goal of creating an LGBTQ help center/shelter once I've advanced enough. I listen to Emotion when I begin to sink into feeling dependent on others for happiness. While a running theme of the album is love, its more of embracing yourself in the moment of love, which I find myself needing to be reminded of from time to time.

I've got a growing to-do list for tomorrow, that includes cleaning, groceries and other adult like responsibilities, so I better get to bed. Good night, buds!

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Midweek Blogging Realization

I'm trying to feel inspired to write more. Should I start going out more? Try out more adventures? Maybe I should be watching more movies, and exposing myself to more art?

I try to think of my online "brand" and I want the posts, whether to they be videos, tweets or blogs, to be heartfelt and honest. But at the same time a bit of heightened reality, that gives people a quick escape from whatever shit they have to deal with.

(Let me please note that I hate that I'm saying "brand" but I'm not sure what else to say. I guess brand isn't really the correct word if its not a persona, but instead just me putting myself out in the open. I don't know, I can overthink it all later)

Lately though, I've been trying to focus on creating a better looking space for myself and my content. I didn't realize though, that putting my creative energy towards that was kind of limiting the quality of my posts. I found myself sitting in front of my laptop a little while ago trying to think of a post that would get a lot of people interested in my blog. But as I started writing, I realized that this thinking was totally wrong. If I wanted to give off a heartfelt and honest feel in my posts, I shouldn't be trying to figure out what people want. I need to decide what I want to write about, and be as much of myself as I can. I need to be myself in everything I do, not just in building my online presence.

I'd love for this to become a job, but I don't want it to be just that, so I shouldn't be treating it like just that. I'm glad I'm having this realization now, and not 10 years from now.

So, staying true to my attempts at being heartfelt and honest, I'd like to thank anyone who's read even just one of my posts. But also, staying true to my attempts at heightened reality, heres my face edited onto Kris Jenners Instagram.


I'm back after a long weekend with a vlog!! We'll get back to the regular blog posting, and self musings tomorrow! But for now, catch up on my weekend (when I got cuddle attacked by a dog and went to a concert)!! Much love, buds!!

Saturday, February 13, 2016

My Weekend To-Do List

Recently, my mom got me a journal and whether or not that was an attempt to stop me from putting all of my personal stories on here is still undetermined. I started using it on Thursday night as a way to plan out what I want to do with my career, and how I want to build myself up. I wrote on my long term and short term goals, and the people I aspire to be like. I've got the website I'm planning on using in a few weeks, but I'd like to have some art and pictures of myself so the website can be as complete as possible.

This weekend should be really fun! On Friday night, I went to my friends little brothers basketball game, which always end up being really intense despite the fact that all the players are in middle school. We grabbed some pizza afterward, and had a sweet night. This weekend, I'm going up to Orlando (again) and spending sometime with my best bud. We're going to the Carly Rae Jepsen concert on Monday, which should be a gay ol' time. Luckily, I'm going to be vlogging the whole weekend so you won't miss a thing! Look forward to that coming out sometime next week!

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend! And happy Valentines Day! <3

Thursday, February 11, 2016

#TBT - Developed Film

Look at this edgy ass picture I took on my early 2000's camera over Winter Break. Cigarettes in a Smirnoff bottle?? Oooooh ouch oooooh

I developed a few pictures today, and I figured I'd share some of my favorites! 

My family hates putting tinsel on the tree, but ever since I saw A Christmas Story I've been obsessed with it. I feel like it gives it a old timey vibe 

I've started trying to sneak as many pictures of my Abuelo in as possible, because I know I'm going to appreciate them one day. Also, he's just so god damn adorable.

I was walking around Thugz Oasis (the instagram location for my cousins backyard) and started taking a couple pictures of their garden. I really liked the look of the reflective ribbons surrounded by all the green.   
And heres some pictures that aren't new, but are still my favorites 

I took this while sitting with my best bud, riding ahead of my siblings at The Fair. It reminds me of the great time we had that day, and how much I enjoy spending time with them. 

I hate how edgy this picture seems like its supposed to look, but I love it nonetheless 
On one of my favorite rides at Disney, The Tomorrowland Transit Authority. Its also a great reminder of the good times my best bud and I have on there, since we ride it every time we go.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Mustached Man With A Plan

I hate that I'm a grown man that chuckles at the numbers 69 and 420. I have a mustache, I shouldn't be finding these things funny. What kind of successful mustached man laughs at 69 and 420? None.

Tonights been a pretty chill night. I marathoned the last few episodes of Transparent, and truly got to appreciate the acting of my #wcw Hari Nef. I've obviously seen a few pictures of Hari from her modeling, and I've listened to a couple of podcasts that featured her. She's a really great role model for young trans women, and women overall. My best bud wrote a really cool piece about her last week, and you can find it here.

Tomorrow I'm planning on having a pretty sweet day. My sister asked me to pick her up from work, so I'm going to be leaving my house a bit earlier and stopping to develop some film. One of my favorite parts of using film is not remembering what pictures I took, all I remember about this roll is that I used it during the past couple on months. I'm also planning on going thrift shopping. I'd like to find a few things for myself, but I'm really going to be looking for things that I can start a clothing store online with. I'm hoping tomorrow goes smoothly, and that I can come home from work and do some homework/create a better website for myself.

Heres to a great tomorrow!

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

An Exciting Night For An Incredibly Busy Man

I was struggling getting an appointment with my therapist, and I started to believe that I was going to have to get a second therapist to discuss my therapist issues. But luckily, we decided on having a phone session. The funny thing was, I was so pumped to have this session but I kind of just drew a blank on the phone. I still had things to talk about, but compared to our conversations a few months ago, it was incredibly dry. While I love my therapist, I definitely want to say this is a good thing! The one major difference between then and now? Blogging af. Every day, I'm forcing myself to reflect on my own day and its really helped me grow as a person. I'm definitely planning on still seeing her, because believe me, theres still a hell of a lot more work to be done. But I'm glad that I've progressed this far.

I had a sweet moment with my mom earlier when she told me she and my dad wanted the family to start going to church regularly again. She told me that in the process of picking a church, it was very important to both of them that they choose a church with a community thats supportive of lgbtq rights. While its known that I'm not currently planning on going to church regularly myself (probably a couple times a month), I'm glad that they felt like they needed that sort of community even with my sporadic presence. My mom made it a point to meet with the head priest of a possible Molina church to discuss their feelings about a supportive congregation. Luckily, the priests at this church are incredibly supportive of LGBTQ rights, and would even like it if there was some sort of group for families with LGBTQ members! I'm really excited to visit with my family, because this really does sound like the perfect place for us!

There was a lot to be excited about tonight, and I'm glad it all happened. This week is shaping up to be great so far, so I'm incredibly excited to see how the rest of it goes. I've still got to find time to make a video, and I'm thinking of starting to sell some clothes on Etsy. I'm an incredibly busy man.

P.S I made this picture of Bernie balancing basketballs on his finger wags, which was also exciting

What To Do When Someone You Love Comes Out

I've been on both the giving and receiving ends of a coming out, so while I'm not a trained professional, I like to imagine I am. I have things I wish people had done when I came out to them, and I have things I should've done when people came out to me. I've compiled a list of a few of them:

  1. Listen - Its taken years for your loved one to finally be comfortable with the idea of being LGBTQ, let alone comfortable with telling us. They've got a lot built up, let them talk about how they're feeling, what they're worried about, what they're happy about, etc. Give them as much time as they need to express this large spectrum of emotion. 
  2. Give assurance - Chances are that if they're talking to us specifically about this, they care about our relationship, and feel like we deserve to know something still very personal. We need to assure them that we love them, and that we're thankful for our relationship with them. Assure them that being LGBTQ doesn't effect that love, its just another part of them to love and appreciate. 
  3. Don't make it about you - Have I made this mistake? And has someone made this mistake when I came out to them? I plead the fifth. They don't need to know about our gay uncles or our trans teachers, that can be discussed later. Right now they need to know they aren't in the wrong. Theres still a bit of self loathing going on, so its nice hear that they're both loved and supported. 
  4. Have a sense of humor - Being someone who uses humor as a defense mechanism, I've found this to be useful and harmful. Its an incredibly thin line that has to be walked with care. You need to think about what you're saying ten times over before you say it, but if its something really good that'll lighten the mood, go ahead and say it. Its a tense situation, some ice will definitely need to be broken. 
  5. Offer assistance - This isn't a conversation that'll happen and be over. 41% of trans people and 30% of gay people attempt suicide every year (source1/source2), so its important that we offer as much support to them as we can. Offer to accompany them when they come out to someone. Go with them to an LGBTQ center, it wouldn't hurt for either of you to be informed. Our loved one is going through an odd time, they're going to need us close by for a couple months, just like they'd do for us.  
Obviously I'm far from a therapist, or any type of professional really, but I'd like to believe that some of what I listed will help ease the coming out process for someone. Its pretty difficult, and can get a bit awkward, so I think we should take any lil piece of advice we can get to try and ease the situation. Remember to offer as much love, support and guidance as possible.

Friday, February 5, 2016

Must Watch List - Netflix

Here are some underrated gems to stream this weekend while you're prepping for your Super Bowl party, or stuck inside because of the inevitable rain.

World Of Tomorrow - Don Hertzfeldt is notorious for his simple looking cartoons with existential meanings. World of Tomorrow is no exception, although its 17 minute running time may trick some. The movie was created by recording Hertzfeldt's niece while she played, and has a storyline structured around things she said during the recording. Thats as much as I'll say, because its probably best to go in knowing as little as possible.

Welcome To Me - Kristen Wiig adds another level of creative brilliance to this story of a woman who wins the lottery and creates her own talk show. The plot sounds like an SNL skit, and could've ended up coming across as one, if Kristen Wiig (Ironically a former SNL cast member) had not given the performance that she did.

Chelsea Does - Chelsea Handler hosts this documentary series with her usual dirty wit, which we're well acquainted with after her 7 seasons on Chelsea Lately. What we get from this show that we didn't get from her past one, is the sense that Chelsea is more than just a comedian. She's someone who actually seems to want to learn about the world, and improve on herself and her comedy. This all comes through specifically in Chelsea Does Racism, when the comedian who notoriously uses stereotypes, when she travels the country looking at how race is treated.

John Mulaney The Comeback Kid - I find John Mulaney's comedy to be extremely relatable, because we're both men in boyish bodies with awkward catholic childhoods. His stories of meeting Bill Clinton, and auditioning for Home Alone are stuff of legends. I assure you the stand-up special is hilarious despite the poster looking like North Korean propaganda.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Future Weekend Diary

I've got a little mustache going right now, and I did 10 pushups. I am feeling like A MAN!!! Working out has made me feel really great, and I'm really excited to keep this up (now that I know its effects on my emotions). I never thought I would, but I've definitely begun to believe in workout highs.

On Saturday morning, I'm planning on venturing out onto the streets of Miami and going yard sailing. Last weekend I was told of a toy collector who's having a sale this week, and I'm really excited to check that out. I'm also planning on going to my friends concert on Saturday with some other friends, which should be a really good time! The venue is incredibly sketchy, above a mechanic in Little Havana. But once you get inside, you end up meeting some really cool people and spend time with your friends in a really cool venue.

Unless something crazy happens, I'm planning on keeping up the entertainment themed friday posts tomorrow with a must-stream list for the weekend. I'm having trouble deciding on what kind of video to make this weekend, but I'll be posting a poll on twitter (@chriismolina) to help me figure it out.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

How To Follow Up A Shitty Day

Its kind of funny how things end up circling back around in life. Today I was going forward with my plan to be happy by waking up early and kicking this days ass. I then decided "hey, why not work out" out of the blue. I figured it was the perfect time, since I needed to shower before work anyway, and the house was empty so I could blast all the classic 90's hits I wanted. I only ended up doing one third  of the work out I wanted to do, but it was enough to get me hyped up.

About half an hour after working out, I could already feel myself feeling a lot more positive. I know (from Legally Blonde) that working out releases endorphins, but I'm not sure if it can happen after just thirty minutes. Just the idea that I worked out, something I've been wanted to keep up since the beginning of the year, made me so proud of myself and really pumped for the rest of my day.  I'm hoping that if I do keep this up, I'll be able to use working out as a sort of stress reliever, which I know is very common.

The rest of my day has been pretty uphill! I've been really reflective of the work I'm trying to do on here, and it gets me excited for my future. I'm getting into the whole idea of considering myself "a writer." Its not the main thing I want to do as a career, but it definitely is a part of it. I'm glad I'm finally getting comfortable with it. My best bud said they were inspired by my blog to create their own, which really hit my heart hard (Check out their blog here!). Anytime someone tells me that my blog has effected their life in someway, it makes me incredibly happy, and really inspired to keep doing what I'm doing.

How To Avoid A Shitty Day

I'm feeling the midweek slump coming on, and I've got to kick myself out of it. Today ended up being a kinda shitty day because I let myself get into a bad head space. I'd expand on what specifics made my day shitty, but I don't think I need to dwell on it. Luckily though, my friends and family were there for me (without them realizing it). My family took care of me when I had to leave work early (I didn't feel well) and my friends helped me get over/distracted me from my negative thoughts. I can not stress the importance of finding and maintaining a great support system. Whether its a small or large number, its incredibly helpful to have people you can count on to be there for you no matter what. 

My plan for kicking the midweek slumps ass? I'm going to wake up early tomorrow, and make myself breakfast. I'll do things that I know for a fact will make me happy, and healthy. That includes things like surrounding myself with loved ones, cleaning myself up, and focusing on school and work. I'll put myself back in the headspace that prevents me from having days like today. I'm going to make tomorrow a great day. 

Monday, February 1, 2016

6th Year Coming Out Anniversary!

Today is my 6th year coming out anniversary! February 1st 2011, I began writing what I thought would end up being a book, but just ended up being a one page word document. Lets time travel back a bit, and see how that writing holds up today.

To get the clearest image of 15 year old Chris as you can, heres a picture. I not only believed coming out was going to be the biggest life changing event, but also believed that I had it very rough. Little did my uneducated self know, there were people (and still are people) going through hell, where they'd get verbally and physically abused for being lgbtq. The worst I had to deal with was mustering up the courage to tell people.

So, without further ado, here is my painfully embarrassing coming out story...

Chapter 1
Bi the way (I thought I was bi, and thought this title was incredibly clever)
It was undoubtedly one of the most important weeks of my life. I had finally come out of denial. (denial is a bit of a stretch) I had tried to convince myself that I wasn’t bi. Turns out I am (no you're not), and I couldn’t be any happier.  I first came out on Tuesday, the 1st  of February 2011 to one of my best friends Emma (I'm changing names to spare embarrassment) She was my cousin Neals girlfriend at the time; We eventually became friends when she joined Neal and I during lunch every day. We immediately clicked and have been good friends ever since. 
I first decided to tell Emma during my third period International Relations class when 1) I was bored as hell and needed to get out of that class, and 2) I couldn’t hold in that part of my life anymore and needed to let it go (My being "bi" sounds a lot like I need to take a shit). Emma was the first person I thought of telling, I would’ve told Neal but I had no idea how he would react. He has a very unpredictable personality, but it adds adventure to our friendship (Where the fuck did I get that? Thats an inaccurate description of my cousin) Emma was one of kindest people I had ever met, and she made me want to become a better person (You're 15... a better person at what? Doing math homework?) I walked down the halls with a water bottle (75% sure I had an orange gatorade bottle) in my hand, which had been shaking uncontrollably the whole walk to Emma's Classroom. I was finally going to tell someone, and someone I felt comfortable with. Someone who knew me just as I knew myself. (Not to take away from the friendship or her, but I knew this girl for like four months so theres no way she knew me that well) I met her by my locker. “Hey” she said with the classic toothy Emma smile. When she hugged me (which was quite comforting at the time) I was hoping she wouldn’t notice my heart beating as fast as that of a humming bird (Fuck  15 year old Chris and his Katy Perry references). I then started to quietly and nervously say “So I don’t know how to say it.” I was starting to regret my decision but I knew that I had to tell her. I had her out of class standing in the hallway anticipating some sort of news. (Yes, thats why you come out, to not disappoint someone expecting news) It then slipped out of my mouth “I’m bi.” a rush of emotions swam across every inch of my teenage body. Relief. Anxiousness. Happiness. Fear. My head was down, like a puppy that had peed on the leg of a couch.  (Thats actually very sweet, I do remember feeling that weird spectrum of emotions) It felt like eternity just standing there her and I. Waiting for a reply that seemed to never come. My eyes began to water and a single tear slid down the side of my face as she hugged me tightly, like I had never been hugged before and whispered “It’s alright.” (Well, for everyone wanting a gay character in a Nicholas Sparks novel, there you fucking go) We had been standing there in the hallway for a few minutes just hugging when she backed away and began to tell me stories of when her gay uncle had come out. I cared about what she had to say, I truly did, but I couldn’t pay attention. I had just said something that would change the course of my life. (It was a big deal, yeah, but you could've been nice and paid attention to the girls attempt at comfort) 
It had been around 5 minutes since I had left class and I knew I should have been back already. I gave her another hug, probably the biggest hug I’ve ever given anyone, and thanked her. I then began to walk back to class with various scenarios racing through my head. I pictured the insane scenario of getting thrown out of my house because my parents didn’t accept me. I thought about being like those kids that were in the news that had been bullied so much to the point of suicide. I then realized all of these were scenarios I had created in my mind. Not real life. I was not Raven Baxter, I could not predict the future. What my life had in store was, and still is a mystery.  

That's a nice ending. Really, it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. It's still filled with a lot of teenage self-entitlement, privilege, and extreme feeling of self-importantance, but not an unbearably embarrassing amount. I do, however, remember making a joke the night I came out that I was "trisexual" and that I was interested in "men, women and cookies." It is by far the most embarrassing joke I've ever made, and feels like it belongs on a shirt at Hot Topic.  

15 Year old Chris really had nothing to worry about, his family would end up taking it great and aside from the few "faggot's" he'd get from guys in the hallway, he got off extremely easy when it came to bullying. With that said, my position was a rare one. I was, and still am, incredibly lucky to be in my situation.