Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Death To My Abs and Reflecting On My First Part-Time Job

I did an ab workout this afternoon before work, and I already feel the presence of death in my core. Because of that work out, I consider today pretty successful. Mostly because I've been wanting to work out for over a week now, and I finally got it done. I ate kind of okay, but I'm positive I can do much better tomorrow. I woke today to a dirty room, and felt pretty unmotivated. It wasn't till a few hours later, after I cleaned up, that I remembered that I wasn't going to be able to turn my thoughts (of cleaning, working out etc) into a reality if I wasn't putting any action towards them. After that I cleaned up my room a bit, and did the killer ab work out.

I consider a good day a work to be when I kid doesn't call me "mean" for not letting them play outside after they've misbehaved all day. While it started off a bit rough, the kids kind of got that I was bullshitting them when I said I wouldn't take them out if they weren't behaving. They did their homework, and took them outside. Normally when its a group of kids, they try and impress each other and act up, and thats when my job gets tough. But the part that makes me really happy, that makes me realize that this is more than just a regular part-time job, is when I get one on one time with kids. Sometimes I'll get kids that'll nonchalantly discuss pretty heavy stuff, like being in the hospital, or separated parents. Its always cool to see how they see things like that, and how they treat it like a small part of their lives. Sometimes, if I'm up to it, I'll play with the kids outside. They really enjoy seeing a much larger person walk through the monkey bars, or climb up a ladder in two steps. Playing with them talks a lot of energy, but it always makes me happy. 

Heres to more healthy living, physically and mentally. Love ya! 

Monday, March 7, 2016

Ready To Fuck It Up (In A Beautiful And Loving Way)

Its a Monday, and I'm back from the weekend pretty much cured of the common cold and ready to fuck my life up (in a beautiful and loving way).

I went to my therapist today, for the first time in forever, and I feel like a new man. If you haven't been to a therapist, I'd like to describe it as taking your brain to the mechanic. Your car (brain) is going to need a tune up every once and awhile. It feels like my therapist and I kinda sit there and take my brain out, and scrub it nice and clean. Its a brain shower. Its fantastic. Going today really helped me sort my shit out, by reminding my that I need to adjust my short term goals and act on them. For example, by summer I'm going to want a new job (preferably something in television or film). So instead of sitting here and saying I want a job, I need to actually set aside some time to look for jobs every day.

This afternoon I went to grab some lunch, and realized I needed to do some grocery shopping. I was pretty bummed because I ended up failing myself and eating McDonalds, something that I've been trying to quit and kind of consider an addiction (as silly as that sounds). After work I went shopping, so that doesn't have to happen again. I'm hoping to start a new work out this, from a set of videos posted by Tom Daley. While the videos kind of seem like he's pandering towards a gay audience (aka he's shirtless a lot), the guy is an olympic athlete so he obviously knows his stuff.

Today was another step in becoming a better person! I'm excited for starting more tomorrow! Love ya!

P.S I posted a new video where I try to make a smoothie, check it out!

Friday, March 4, 2016

The Life I'm Meant To Live vs. The Life I Want To Live

There was a sketch on SNL two seasons ago parodying the show Girls, which itself is a satire of millennials. The first line is "Honestly, I feel like I'm living the life I was meant to be living, I just wish it was the life I wanted to be living!" I hate that I think of this line everyday, and that it relates to me so much. I'm such a fucking millennial stereotype that lines from a parody of a satire relate god damn life.

I'm far from living the life I want to live. Ideally, at 20 years old, I'd be living on my own in a major city like L.A or New York (a city that's also a major entertainment hub), and going to school for mass. communications. I'd be watching tv shows and movies nonstop, taking notes for the the things I'm making. And when I'm not doing that, I'm spending time with friends somewhere low-key like a bar or an apartment. I'd be recording things down in my life, whether on film or in writing, for personal reflection and to serve as inspiration for future projects.

I'm rereading what I just wrote and its not so much different from the life I'm living now. I've got a group of friends I hang out with at "low-key" places. I record things down from my life (though I'm not sure how much of it is meaty enough to serve as inspiration). I'm also watching tv shows and movies nonstop, but the reasoning behind it is normally boredom, not to take notes for future projects.

The only clear difference is living on my own in a major entertainment hub of a city, but I'm not sure if it'd be exactly possible right now. Or maybe it would be, but I'm just nervous about the emotional and physical sacrifices it would take right now. Is that something I'd be capable of? I like to think it would be.

This is without a doubt the life I'm meant to be living but for reasons I'm not sure of. Maybe it'll push me towards the life I want to be living. Maybe one day the life I'm meant to be living will become the life I want to be living. Maybe one day I'll make the life I want to be living a reality.

Good night pals, love ya!

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Writers Block

The cold is subsiding, and I can feel myself getting back to normal. I'm really excited to get back to work on myself once I feel completely better. I'm noticing though that I'm running out of "inspiration" easily, and it may be because I don't have much variety in my activities. I only have like 8 things I ever do, and I think if I were to go out and try new things and have more to write about. But that begs the question, what the hell can I do?

I'd like to do some research into interesting things there are in Miami (I'm sure theres something), or just Florida in general. Not only would it give me great blogging topics, but it'd make for killer vlogs. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd greatly appreciate them. Or just any suggestions for post in general? What do you like seeing from me? Let me know! Good night friends! Love ya!

Healthy Living - Update

Today while out with some friends, someone asked me how my health plan had been going, which inspired the whole table to start asking me. It sucked to sit there and say that I haven't really followed through completely.

Once I get over this cold, I'm 100% going to work out regularly again, and not just once a week. I've got my classic exercise plan that I use, but I think I need to find some more so I can alternate and have a bit of variety. Not just because I feel like it'd be good for my body, but I think I'd be more willing to work out if I wasn't doing the same routine every time. Eating healthy is going alright, I think I could be doing a lot better. I'd like to lay off of fast-food, and while I'm not sure how well that'll work out, I think its worth giving a shot. I need to learn a few more quick things to be able to make for lunch, because I assume I'll be sick of sandwiches and wraps pretty soon. I tend to look for 'healthy alternatives' when I'm out to eat, but I don't all the time, which is something I need to fix.

I'd really like to see some difference within the next couple months, and I think its possible if I'm stick to this and don't stray from it. It'll be great way to assure myself that my work is paying off. Not only that, but summer is fast approaching and I need to get my #beachbod ready. Good night pals, love ya!

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

I'm Sick (Not The Cool Kid Kind)

I'm sick. Not the cool sick like the kids are saying, I mean congestion, sore throat and overdosing on cold medicine sick. I woke feeling absolutely terrible, skipped work/school and slept for most of the day. Once my family got home, I hung out with them for a bit and watched some Fuller House. Fuller House is one of the best television shows of this lifetime, and if you haven't started watching it you are a severely hurt individual that needs help.

My being sick kinda sucked because I was really hoping to get a lot of shit done today. Hopefully within the next couple of days, I'll feel well enough to do some things on the ever-growing to-do list. Updates to come. But for now, this night quill is starting to kick so I should go. Bye pals, love ya!

Hillary Clintons Night Out


Saturday night, I went to this nasty ass venue at 1am for a killer show by my friends band, Cannibal Kids. It was right by the airport, which for the most part isn't the greatest neighborhood, on the second floor of a warehouse in a shopping center. It lacked proper air-conditioning and lighting, so as I walked up the stairs, my glasses began to fog up and I had no idea where I was going. I slid across the floors (shout out to the condensation) to find the bathroom. If the pierced girl who I paid my entry fee too hadn't told me the bathroom was in the back and to the left, I would still be lost today. 

A flyer for the show encouraged people to bring blow-up dolls, which seemed interesting . I went out and bought one named Horny Hillary based off the Hillary Rodham Clinton. She's a lot more lifelike  than to the real Hillary. I brought her to hang out at my friends house before the concert, and she had a great time. I had to throw her in a bush when my friends sisters surprised us outside, but once they left Hilz came out to party. We went on the swing set, and danced to Rihanna, she had a really great night. But she was pretty disappointed when I had to leave her in my car once I got to the show and realized no one else had a god damn inflatable woman. 
Of course Horny Hilz is wearing a shirt. She may be a blow-up doll, but she's still a lady.                                            
Cannibal Kids had the crowd jumping around and pretending they were at a bonfire on the west coast, which was nothing new from them. Despite the shit venue, everyone was having a great time. Having friends around you while you listen to some great tunes tends to help you forget about the shitty situations you're in. 

Getting Hillary into my room at 3am was less difficult than I thought it'd be, I forgot she was a fake human filled with air. I threw her into the corner, and fell asleep. My family discovered her the next morning, and enjoyed her a lot more than I thought they would. When you're teaching children about human anatomy, I highly recommend buying a blow-up doll (it doesn't have to be a Hillary Clinton replica). 

It was a killer night, a long hellish night, but killer nonetheless. 

Good night pals, love ya!  

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Blow-up Doll Concert

Ya'll are pervs. The post I published on Tuesday got significantly more views than anything else I've posted this week. Lesson learned, I've just gotta threaten to have boobies in a post for it to be popular.

I've got a few friends down for the weekend, and a friend who's band is playing a show on Saturday night. I'm expecting it to be an interesting night, considering the show is at 1 am. I'm not much of a night owl unless I'm sitting in my bedroom. I haven't been outside past midnight in a while, so I really have no idea what its like. What happens past midnight? Is it safe? Do I turn into a monster once the moon comes out? We'll see tomorrow night.

My friend who's playing suggested we bring blow-up dolls to the show, because apparently thats what everyone will be doing. I've never touched a blow-up doll in my life, so I'm pretty pumped. Part of me wants to go out and buy one, but another part of me realizes that I shouldn't buy an inflatable woman for a one night event. Where would I even buy one? I wish I could just rent one. Like balloon prostitution.

Look forward to a vlog coming out sometime before Monday here, and in the mean time, catch up on my latest vids. Hope you all have a great weekend. Love ya, pals!

Friday, February 26, 2016

I Started Writing a Rom-Com!

I recently mentioned that I fell in love with Love, one of Netflix's newest original series. I describe it as the rom-com millennials deserve, it's reminiscent of the good ol' days were a lady would use cum as hair gel and Richard Gere would pay a prostitute to be fancy. While it evokes the same feelings that a classic would, it's writing is fresh and new. The soundtrack includes some of the most underrated love/anti-love songs of our time, from This is The Way of The World by Earth Wind and Fire to Just a Friend by Biz Markie.

Coming off the 'love' high, both from real life love and the show Love, I was inspired to start writing a script. I'm not sure whether I want it to be a rom-com or an anti-rom-com, or if I'll even continue to write this. There're some obvious parallels between the writing, my love life, and Love. The story would basically be a guy breaking up with someone, and being incredibly heartbroken. His friend comes to help him out, realizing he doesn't really have a life since he committed his all to the relationship

It's a pretty simple concept, so it wouldn't be too hard to shoot myself if it reached that point. But I've only written a page of a script, so I shouldn't get ahead of myself. It would obviously need a shit ton of tweaking to get to that point.

Its kinda weird to share something like that on here, since I'm always posting strictly autobiographical stuff. You'd think I'd be more scared of posting details of my life than sharing something from my imagination. Love ya, pals! 

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Chandelier: The Musical!

I just left The Phantom of The Opera (Or Chandelier: The Musical!) and holy fuck. I started to tear up when the chandelier came out, it was honestly the best part of the show. The actors, the music, the costumes, they were great, sure! BUT THAT FUCKING CHANDELIER THOUGH!!! I never thought I'd be a light fixtures biggest fan. I started to tear up when it lit up for the first time while DAAAA DUM DAA DUM DAAAA was playing on the organ. The shows technical aspects were unlike anything I'd ever seen before. The set reminded me of something I would've played with when I was a kid, excluding the pyrotechnics. I really identified with the Phantom, because I would also hold a theater full of people hostage till they performed the musical I wrote. 

While I enjoy theater, its kinda where I draw the line between what I enjoy and what I can to do. I think its a lot of fun, but I highly doubtful that I'd be able to become a successful stage actor. The blow of lacking theatrical acting ability is softened by my constant pretending that I'm in a musical. 

I've got a busy day filled with Oscar Nominees and math homework planned for tomorrow, so I should go get some sleep. Love ya, pals! 

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Very Adult

I received my first Jury Duty letter. I've wanted to do this since I was a kid, which is fucking awesome, but what the hell am I supposed to do with work? And school? How does one become an internet sensation when one has no access to cell phones and is trying to solve a trial? As much as I want a big crazy case, how the hell am I supposed to not live tweet it?

I did some shopping at Whole Foods, and I'm planning on cooking myself a sun dried tomato scramble (based of this video) tomorrow morning. I'm slowly trying to learn how to cook foods that aren't microwaved, and its kind of working out? I'm hoping that once I move out, I'll be able to cook at least a weeks worth of food. Once I start learning how to cook more for myself, and realize how easy it is, I hope that'll lean me off of fast food a bit. For updates on how the sun dried tomato scramble, follow me on Snapchat @chriismolina!!

This week is shaping up to be really good, and hopefully that'll carry over into the weekend! Love ya, pals!

Monday, February 22, 2016

I Think I Found A Balance

Remember last week when I was conflicted between wanting to create quality content but also wanting it to look nice?

Well, I'm starting to balance the two. I've signed up for a space that'll look much better than this piece of crap. I'm not sure when it'll be ready, but my friend Thomas helped me figure out its "aesthetic"(by extension its my aesthetic, because this websites just an extension of me) by creating a "mood board." You can check it out here, I think its awesome and perfectly sums up what I want. Thomas described it as "Post-90's Disneycore" which oddly enough describes me perfectly.

I also made a video for the third weekend in a row. Hooray for consistency! As I discover more people who create videos, I'm gathering elements that I enjoy and would like to incorporate into my own. I discovered I liked faster moving videos when I saw my Baz Luhrmann movie, but didn't realize I could apply that to something thats more like a home video than a big budget movie till I dove deeper into the world of youtube. You can watch my newest video below!

I hope you all have a great week! Love ya, pals! 

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Friday Recap On Whats Technically Now Saturday

Sure, its technically Saturday, but f that lets look back on Friday!

I woke up feeling a bit cloudy mentally/physically and wasn't sure what to do about it. I did groceries for myself, watched Love on Netflix (its really funny, highly recommend it), nothing too special. My best bud, Thomas, called me during his lunch break and I told him how I was feeling and he suggested I work out. I was hesitate, but he told me to stop making excuses when I know I'd feel better if I worked out. Thomas was right (as they tend to be), and within an hour I felt a lot better. I went to work on a work out high, and crushed it!

Once I got home, I rested for a bit before going to my friend, Loegan's, brothers basketball game. I'm pretty sure I've written about them before, but just incase lets do a quick flashback. A few weeks ago Loegan invited me to a game, and I went just for the hell of it. Since its middle schoolers, I wasn't expecting anything great. Little did I know, these games are intense as hell! I've started to enjoy going not only to spend time with my friends, but surprisingly because I enjoy the games! After tonights game, I had to play bus driver for a quick sec and drive my brother and sister home from a show at school. After that I met with my friends Isabella and Daniel at P.F Changs, and celebrated a late Chinese New Year. I hadn't seen them in a few weeks, so it was really great to hang and catch up. I was a bit worried that I'd end up third wheeling, but it felt like the total opposite and was hella fun.

I drove home sleepy, ready to lay down and write my post for the day and I'm now doing just that. I hope you all have a great weekend! Love ya, pals!

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Albums Getting Me Through The Week

I started math homework a month in advance, and I transferred money to my savings account. Adulthood is fast approaching!

For the past week, I've exclusively listened to a mix of The Life of Pablo by Kanye West, Hamilton, and Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen. Pablo pumps me the fuck up, and gives me balls when I seem to have lost mine. Theres something about Kanye's fearlessness that really inspires me to put myself out there. Hamilton, the musical thats taken over the country, has been my thing since last fall. But recently I've stuck to the last few songs of the musical, which I think hold the most impact. It really gets me off my ass, and trying to advance myself. It's also partly inspired my goal of creating an LGBTQ help center/shelter once I've advanced enough. I listen to Emotion when I begin to sink into feeling dependent on others for happiness. While a running theme of the album is love, its more of embracing yourself in the moment of love, which I find myself needing to be reminded of from time to time.

I've got a growing to-do list for tomorrow, that includes cleaning, groceries and other adult like responsibilities, so I better get to bed. Good night, buds!

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Midweek Blogging Realization

I'm trying to feel inspired to write more. Should I start going out more? Try out more adventures? Maybe I should be watching more movies, and exposing myself to more art?

I try to think of my online "brand" and I want the posts, whether to they be videos, tweets or blogs, to be heartfelt and honest. But at the same time a bit of heightened reality, that gives people a quick escape from whatever shit they have to deal with.

(Let me please note that I hate that I'm saying "brand" but I'm not sure what else to say. I guess brand isn't really the correct word if its not a persona, but instead just me putting myself out in the open. I don't know, I can overthink it all later)

Lately though, I've been trying to focus on creating a better looking space for myself and my content. I didn't realize though, that putting my creative energy towards that was kind of limiting the quality of my posts. I found myself sitting in front of my laptop a little while ago trying to think of a post that would get a lot of people interested in my blog. But as I started writing, I realized that this thinking was totally wrong. If I wanted to give off a heartfelt and honest feel in my posts, I shouldn't be trying to figure out what people want. I need to decide what I want to write about, and be as much of myself as I can. I need to be myself in everything I do, not just in building my online presence.

I'd love for this to become a job, but I don't want it to be just that, so I shouldn't be treating it like just that. I'm glad I'm having this realization now, and not 10 years from now.

So, staying true to my attempts at being heartfelt and honest, I'd like to thank anyone who's read even just one of my posts. But also, staying true to my attempts at heightened reality, heres my face edited onto Kris Jenners Instagram.


I'm back after a long weekend with a vlog!! We'll get back to the regular blog posting, and self musings tomorrow! But for now, catch up on my weekend (when I got cuddle attacked by a dog and went to a concert)!! Much love, buds!!

Saturday, February 13, 2016

My Weekend To-Do List

Recently, my mom got me a journal and whether or not that was an attempt to stop me from putting all of my personal stories on here is still undetermined. I started using it on Thursday night as a way to plan out what I want to do with my career, and how I want to build myself up. I wrote on my long term and short term goals, and the people I aspire to be like. I've got the website I'm planning on using in a few weeks, but I'd like to have some art and pictures of myself so the website can be as complete as possible.

This weekend should be really fun! On Friday night, I went to my friends little brothers basketball game, which always end up being really intense despite the fact that all the players are in middle school. We grabbed some pizza afterward, and had a sweet night. This weekend, I'm going up to Orlando (again) and spending sometime with my best bud. We're going to the Carly Rae Jepsen concert on Monday, which should be a gay ol' time. Luckily, I'm going to be vlogging the whole weekend so you won't miss a thing! Look forward to that coming out sometime next week!

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend! And happy Valentines Day! <3

Thursday, February 11, 2016

#TBT - Developed Film

Look at this edgy ass picture I took on my early 2000's camera over Winter Break. Cigarettes in a Smirnoff bottle?? Oooooh ouch oooooh

I developed a few pictures today, and I figured I'd share some of my favorites! 

My family hates putting tinsel on the tree, but ever since I saw A Christmas Story I've been obsessed with it. I feel like it gives it a old timey vibe 

I've started trying to sneak as many pictures of my Abuelo in as possible, because I know I'm going to appreciate them one day. Also, he's just so god damn adorable.

I was walking around Thugz Oasis (the instagram location for my cousins backyard) and started taking a couple pictures of their garden. I really liked the look of the reflective ribbons surrounded by all the green.   
And heres some pictures that aren't new, but are still my favorites 

I took this while sitting with my best bud, riding ahead of my siblings at The Fair. It reminds me of the great time we had that day, and how much I enjoy spending time with them. 

I hate how edgy this picture seems like its supposed to look, but I love it nonetheless 
On one of my favorite rides at Disney, The Tomorrowland Transit Authority. Its also a great reminder of the good times my best bud and I have on there, since we ride it every time we go.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Mustached Man With A Plan

I hate that I'm a grown man that chuckles at the numbers 69 and 420. I have a mustache, I shouldn't be finding these things funny. What kind of successful mustached man laughs at 69 and 420? None.

Tonights been a pretty chill night. I marathoned the last few episodes of Transparent, and truly got to appreciate the acting of my #wcw Hari Nef. I've obviously seen a few pictures of Hari from her modeling, and I've listened to a couple of podcasts that featured her. She's a really great role model for young trans women, and women overall. My best bud wrote a really cool piece about her last week, and you can find it here.

Tomorrow I'm planning on having a pretty sweet day. My sister asked me to pick her up from work, so I'm going to be leaving my house a bit earlier and stopping to develop some film. One of my favorite parts of using film is not remembering what pictures I took, all I remember about this roll is that I used it during the past couple on months. I'm also planning on going thrift shopping. I'd like to find a few things for myself, but I'm really going to be looking for things that I can start a clothing store online with. I'm hoping tomorrow goes smoothly, and that I can come home from work and do some homework/create a better website for myself.

Heres to a great tomorrow!

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

An Exciting Night For An Incredibly Busy Man

I was struggling getting an appointment with my therapist, and I started to believe that I was going to have to get a second therapist to discuss my therapist issues. But luckily, we decided on having a phone session. The funny thing was, I was so pumped to have this session but I kind of just drew a blank on the phone. I still had things to talk about, but compared to our conversations a few months ago, it was incredibly dry. While I love my therapist, I definitely want to say this is a good thing! The one major difference between then and now? Blogging af. Every day, I'm forcing myself to reflect on my own day and its really helped me grow as a person. I'm definitely planning on still seeing her, because believe me, theres still a hell of a lot more work to be done. But I'm glad that I've progressed this far.

I had a sweet moment with my mom earlier when she told me she and my dad wanted the family to start going to church regularly again. She told me that in the process of picking a church, it was very important to both of them that they choose a church with a community thats supportive of lgbtq rights. While its known that I'm not currently planning on going to church regularly myself (probably a couple times a month), I'm glad that they felt like they needed that sort of community even with my sporadic presence. My mom made it a point to meet with the head priest of a possible Molina church to discuss their feelings about a supportive congregation. Luckily, the priests at this church are incredibly supportive of LGBTQ rights, and would even like it if there was some sort of group for families with LGBTQ members! I'm really excited to visit with my family, because this really does sound like the perfect place for us!

There was a lot to be excited about tonight, and I'm glad it all happened. This week is shaping up to be great so far, so I'm incredibly excited to see how the rest of it goes. I've still got to find time to make a video, and I'm thinking of starting to sell some clothes on Etsy. I'm an incredibly busy man.

P.S I made this picture of Bernie balancing basketballs on his finger wags, which was also exciting

What To Do When Someone You Love Comes Out

I've been on both the giving and receiving ends of a coming out, so while I'm not a trained professional, I like to imagine I am. I have things I wish people had done when I came out to them, and I have things I should've done when people came out to me. I've compiled a list of a few of them:

  1. Listen - Its taken years for your loved one to finally be comfortable with the idea of being LGBTQ, let alone comfortable with telling us. They've got a lot built up, let them talk about how they're feeling, what they're worried about, what they're happy about, etc. Give them as much time as they need to express this large spectrum of emotion. 
  2. Give assurance - Chances are that if they're talking to us specifically about this, they care about our relationship, and feel like we deserve to know something still very personal. We need to assure them that we love them, and that we're thankful for our relationship with them. Assure them that being LGBTQ doesn't effect that love, its just another part of them to love and appreciate. 
  3. Don't make it about you - Have I made this mistake? And has someone made this mistake when I came out to them? I plead the fifth. They don't need to know about our gay uncles or our trans teachers, that can be discussed later. Right now they need to know they aren't in the wrong. Theres still a bit of self loathing going on, so its nice hear that they're both loved and supported. 
  4. Have a sense of humor - Being someone who uses humor as a defense mechanism, I've found this to be useful and harmful. Its an incredibly thin line that has to be walked with care. You need to think about what you're saying ten times over before you say it, but if its something really good that'll lighten the mood, go ahead and say it. Its a tense situation, some ice will definitely need to be broken. 
  5. Offer assistance - This isn't a conversation that'll happen and be over. 41% of trans people and 30% of gay people attempt suicide every year (source1/source2), so its important that we offer as much support to them as we can. Offer to accompany them when they come out to someone. Go with them to an LGBTQ center, it wouldn't hurt for either of you to be informed. Our loved one is going through an odd time, they're going to need us close by for a couple months, just like they'd do for us.  
Obviously I'm far from a therapist, or any type of professional really, but I'd like to believe that some of what I listed will help ease the coming out process for someone. Its pretty difficult, and can get a bit awkward, so I think we should take any lil piece of advice we can get to try and ease the situation. Remember to offer as much love, support and guidance as possible.

Friday, February 5, 2016

Must Watch List - Netflix

Here are some underrated gems to stream this weekend while you're prepping for your Super Bowl party, or stuck inside because of the inevitable rain.

World Of Tomorrow - Don Hertzfeldt is notorious for his simple looking cartoons with existential meanings. World of Tomorrow is no exception, although its 17 minute running time may trick some. The movie was created by recording Hertzfeldt's niece while she played, and has a storyline structured around things she said during the recording. Thats as much as I'll say, because its probably best to go in knowing as little as possible.

Welcome To Me - Kristen Wiig adds another level of creative brilliance to this story of a woman who wins the lottery and creates her own talk show. The plot sounds like an SNL skit, and could've ended up coming across as one, if Kristen Wiig (Ironically a former SNL cast member) had not given the performance that she did.

Chelsea Does - Chelsea Handler hosts this documentary series with her usual dirty wit, which we're well acquainted with after her 7 seasons on Chelsea Lately. What we get from this show that we didn't get from her past one, is the sense that Chelsea is more than just a comedian. She's someone who actually seems to want to learn about the world, and improve on herself and her comedy. This all comes through specifically in Chelsea Does Racism, when the comedian who notoriously uses stereotypes, when she travels the country looking at how race is treated.

John Mulaney The Comeback Kid - I find John Mulaney's comedy to be extremely relatable, because we're both men in boyish bodies with awkward catholic childhoods. His stories of meeting Bill Clinton, and auditioning for Home Alone are stuff of legends. I assure you the stand-up special is hilarious despite the poster looking like North Korean propaganda.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Future Weekend Diary

I've got a little mustache going right now, and I did 10 pushups. I am feeling like A MAN!!! Working out has made me feel really great, and I'm really excited to keep this up (now that I know its effects on my emotions). I never thought I would, but I've definitely begun to believe in workout highs.

On Saturday morning, I'm planning on venturing out onto the streets of Miami and going yard sailing. Last weekend I was told of a toy collector who's having a sale this week, and I'm really excited to check that out. I'm also planning on going to my friends concert on Saturday with some other friends, which should be a really good time! The venue is incredibly sketchy, above a mechanic in Little Havana. But once you get inside, you end up meeting some really cool people and spend time with your friends in a really cool venue.

Unless something crazy happens, I'm planning on keeping up the entertainment themed friday posts tomorrow with a must-stream list for the weekend. I'm having trouble deciding on what kind of video to make this weekend, but I'll be posting a poll on twitter (@chriismolina) to help me figure it out.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

How To Follow Up A Shitty Day

Its kind of funny how things end up circling back around in life. Today I was going forward with my plan to be happy by waking up early and kicking this days ass. I then decided "hey, why not work out" out of the blue. I figured it was the perfect time, since I needed to shower before work anyway, and the house was empty so I could blast all the classic 90's hits I wanted. I only ended up doing one third  of the work out I wanted to do, but it was enough to get me hyped up.

About half an hour after working out, I could already feel myself feeling a lot more positive. I know (from Legally Blonde) that working out releases endorphins, but I'm not sure if it can happen after just thirty minutes. Just the idea that I worked out, something I've been wanted to keep up since the beginning of the year, made me so proud of myself and really pumped for the rest of my day.  I'm hoping that if I do keep this up, I'll be able to use working out as a sort of stress reliever, which I know is very common.

The rest of my day has been pretty uphill! I've been really reflective of the work I'm trying to do on here, and it gets me excited for my future. I'm getting into the whole idea of considering myself "a writer." Its not the main thing I want to do as a career, but it definitely is a part of it. I'm glad I'm finally getting comfortable with it. My best bud said they were inspired by my blog to create their own, which really hit my heart hard (Check out their blog here!). Anytime someone tells me that my blog has effected their life in someway, it makes me incredibly happy, and really inspired to keep doing what I'm doing.

How To Avoid A Shitty Day

I'm feeling the midweek slump coming on, and I've got to kick myself out of it. Today ended up being a kinda shitty day because I let myself get into a bad head space. I'd expand on what specifics made my day shitty, but I don't think I need to dwell on it. Luckily though, my friends and family were there for me (without them realizing it). My family took care of me when I had to leave work early (I didn't feel well) and my friends helped me get over/distracted me from my negative thoughts. I can not stress the importance of finding and maintaining a great support system. Whether its a small or large number, its incredibly helpful to have people you can count on to be there for you no matter what. 

My plan for kicking the midweek slumps ass? I'm going to wake up early tomorrow, and make myself breakfast. I'll do things that I know for a fact will make me happy, and healthy. That includes things like surrounding myself with loved ones, cleaning myself up, and focusing on school and work. I'll put myself back in the headspace that prevents me from having days like today. I'm going to make tomorrow a great day. 

Monday, February 1, 2016

6th Year Coming Out Anniversary!

Today is my 6th year coming out anniversary! February 1st 2011, I began writing what I thought would end up being a book, but just ended up being a one page word document. Lets time travel back a bit, and see how that writing holds up today.

To get the clearest image of 15 year old Chris as you can, heres a picture. I not only believed coming out was going to be the biggest life changing event, but also believed that I had it very rough. Little did my uneducated self know, there were people (and still are people) going through hell, where they'd get verbally and physically abused for being lgbtq. The worst I had to deal with was mustering up the courage to tell people.

So, without further ado, here is my painfully embarrassing coming out story...

Chapter 1
Bi the way (I thought I was bi, and thought this title was incredibly clever)
It was undoubtedly one of the most important weeks of my life. I had finally come out of denial. (denial is a bit of a stretch) I had tried to convince myself that I wasn’t bi. Turns out I am (no you're not), and I couldn’t be any happier.  I first came out on Tuesday, the 1st  of February 2011 to one of my best friends Emma (I'm changing names to spare embarrassment) She was my cousin Neals girlfriend at the time; We eventually became friends when she joined Neal and I during lunch every day. We immediately clicked and have been good friends ever since. 
I first decided to tell Emma during my third period International Relations class when 1) I was bored as hell and needed to get out of that class, and 2) I couldn’t hold in that part of my life anymore and needed to let it go (My being "bi" sounds a lot like I need to take a shit). Emma was the first person I thought of telling, I would’ve told Neal but I had no idea how he would react. He has a very unpredictable personality, but it adds adventure to our friendship (Where the fuck did I get that? Thats an inaccurate description of my cousin) Emma was one of kindest people I had ever met, and she made me want to become a better person (You're 15... a better person at what? Doing math homework?) I walked down the halls with a water bottle (75% sure I had an orange gatorade bottle) in my hand, which had been shaking uncontrollably the whole walk to Emma's Classroom. I was finally going to tell someone, and someone I felt comfortable with. Someone who knew me just as I knew myself. (Not to take away from the friendship or her, but I knew this girl for like four months so theres no way she knew me that well) I met her by my locker. “Hey” she said with the classic toothy Emma smile. When she hugged me (which was quite comforting at the time) I was hoping she wouldn’t notice my heart beating as fast as that of a humming bird (Fuck  15 year old Chris and his Katy Perry references). I then started to quietly and nervously say “So I don’t know how to say it.” I was starting to regret my decision but I knew that I had to tell her. I had her out of class standing in the hallway anticipating some sort of news. (Yes, thats why you come out, to not disappoint someone expecting news) It then slipped out of my mouth “I’m bi.” a rush of emotions swam across every inch of my teenage body. Relief. Anxiousness. Happiness. Fear. My head was down, like a puppy that had peed on the leg of a couch.  (Thats actually very sweet, I do remember feeling that weird spectrum of emotions) It felt like eternity just standing there her and I. Waiting for a reply that seemed to never come. My eyes began to water and a single tear slid down the side of my face as she hugged me tightly, like I had never been hugged before and whispered “It’s alright.” (Well, for everyone wanting a gay character in a Nicholas Sparks novel, there you fucking go) We had been standing there in the hallway for a few minutes just hugging when she backed away and began to tell me stories of when her gay uncle had come out. I cared about what she had to say, I truly did, but I couldn’t pay attention. I had just said something that would change the course of my life. (It was a big deal, yeah, but you could've been nice and paid attention to the girls attempt at comfort) 
It had been around 5 minutes since I had left class and I knew I should have been back already. I gave her another hug, probably the biggest hug I’ve ever given anyone, and thanked her. I then began to walk back to class with various scenarios racing through my head. I pictured the insane scenario of getting thrown out of my house because my parents didn’t accept me. I thought about being like those kids that were in the news that had been bullied so much to the point of suicide. I then realized all of these were scenarios I had created in my mind. Not real life. I was not Raven Baxter, I could not predict the future. What my life had in store was, and still is a mystery.  

That's a nice ending. Really, it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. It's still filled with a lot of teenage self-entitlement, privilege, and extreme feeling of self-importantance, but not an unbearably embarrassing amount. I do, however, remember making a joke the night I came out that I was "trisexual" and that I was interested in "men, women and cookies." It is by far the most embarrassing joke I've ever made, and feels like it belongs on a shirt at Hot Topic.  

15 Year old Chris really had nothing to worry about, his family would end up taking it great and aside from the few "faggot's" he'd get from guys in the hallway, he got off extremely easy when it came to bullying. With that said, my position was a rare one. I was, and still am, incredibly lucky to be in my situation. 

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Weekend Playlist - 1/29/16

I did a lil poll on twitter to see what todays post should be and a Weekend Playlist was the winner so here we go! I've posted it on Spotify, and I've also written it below with some added reasoning for adding each song.

Weekend Playlist 1/29/15

  1. EOS - Rostam
    • I've been listening to this in the car lately, and really matches up with the rainy weather in Miami. The lyrics are absolutely beautiful, and the production is stellar. 
  2. Leave A Trace - CHURCHES 
    • I have vivid memories of living in Orlando, blasting this song while driving down I-4. I heard it for the first time since while out with some friends this week. It was really weird being in one place, really enjoying myself, but also feeling nostalgic, wanting to be driving down I-4.  
  3. Crying in Public - Chairlift 
    • My best bud introduced me to this song while in Orlando last weekend, and it really gave me 90's adult contemporary vibes. It reminded me of being a kid, hearing Dido or Alanis Morissette on the radio. 
  4. Roses - The Chainsmokers 
    • I vote The Chainsmokers for the artists I least expected myself to enjoy. Granted, I never go out of my way to listen to them, I only wait for them to play on the radio. The best part of this song though is at 1:20-1:30, and since I only hear it in the car, I always do this weird shoulder pop and lock thing. Its a fun time. 
  5. Bennie & The Jets - BØRNS 
    • This cover was a pleasant surprise, because I've been digging both Elton John and BORNS lately. Its a cool mix of modern and 70s music, that'll satisfy both you and your parents tastes. 
  6. Help Me Run Away - St. Lucia
    • My favorite producer, Jack Antonoff, worked on this track so its not really a surprise I enjoyed it. It gives me that really good, freeing feeling you get when you're listening to a great song with your windows down on the turnpike. BONUS: There may be an accidental reference to Epcot's The American Adventure, but I'm not quite sure yet.  
    • I just wrote a whole fucking post on this song, but basically it's disappointment but still a god damn banger. 
  8. Wood - Rostam 
    • I listened to this on Thursday while driving out of school, and it filled me with so much fucking goodness and love. Rostam's written some backstory on the production, and all the inspiration he described comes through. I find it pretty impressive that he incorporated the Persian music he grew up with into the song, and I hope I can incorporate parts of my Cuban culture into whatever form of art I end up producing in the future. 
  9. Boy Problems - Carly Rae Jepsen 
    • I'm absolutely positive EMOTION will never get old, and Carly Rae will be considered a musical god in the years to come. Boy Problems is fun as hell, and is the type of song you'd play at a slumber party while you painted your nails. Its a kick ass, positive way to end this playlist and get you in the mood for your weekend! 

Friday, January 29, 2016

Zayns First Solo Zingle Review

Sometimes disappointment is inevitable. I had a pretty busy day becoming an adult, talking to advisors, working, starting taxes, willingly cleaning my room. I knew my day would be worth it in the end when I got home, and listened to Zayn Malik's first zolo zong PILLOWTALK I feel like a fool.

Granted, I am on my third listening so theres obviously something to be heard in his new venture, but nothing new or inventive. There was a lot of hype set up behind his new zolo career, a lot of hope that he was a phoenix rising from boyband ashes destined to become the next Justin Timberlake. Malik set himself up to be a very different from his former band, but with a few minor changes PILLOWTALK very well could have been on One Directions Made In The A.M.

With his Fader interview, talk with Beats 1 Radio, and endless twitter beef last spring, we really saw a side of him that we didn't get to see in One Direction, and its a side a lot of people enjoy. He's a cool guy, who isn't afraid to do whatever the fuck he wants. He's a rebel, and there was a lot of hope that that would shine through in his debut. But alas, it did not.

Does it matter that Zayn Malik's first solo single may not have risen to the expectations that were set?  Fuck no. Its still an absolute banger! It doesn't surpass Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, The Weeknd or anything else that plays on the radio, but fits perfectly in-between them all. It was exciting to imagine Zayn going towards a less mainstream audience. But, I'd rather have a mainstream artist who's proud of what their doing, than someone being told what to produce.


Thursday, January 28, 2016

Cleaning My Room and My Digestive System

It always makes me feel really special when people start to talk to me about my blog. Tonight I went out with some friends, and they mentioned how they read it everyday. I was skeptical till they proved themselves by making specific references to my previous posts. I can see the amount of people that read each post on the computer, but that doesn't really mean anything, its just a number. It really makes me happy when people come to me in real life and talk to me about something I've written, it proves that I'm not just shouting in an empty auditorium, that people are actually interested in what I have to say.
This is not my real mom, search urbandictionary.com for the word "mom" for more information.

My day started off pretty great! I made a kick ass breakfast, egg whites (with ham, mozzarella and spinach) and greek yogurt. After that I got to work on my room, starting to throw out trash and taking forgotten dishes to the kitchen. When I say forgotten dishes, I'm referencing the dishes you accidentally leave in your room, that then turn weird and crusty. I took a break to go to class and when I came back I had a quick lunch and went back to work while I watched Seinfeld. Then again, I took a break to go to work, and once I got back home I began the third round of cleaning. I own a lot more shit than I expected, mostly unimportant papers or empty bottles. I still have a bit to go, so I'll hopefully finish tomorrow. I didn't think it would be a two day job but like I said before, I own a lot more shit than I expected.

I'm expecting tomorrow to be a lot more relaxed compared to today, so heres hoping that comes true! 

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Kicking The Common Cold's Ass

I'm definitely coming down with some sort of sickness. I slept till I had to go to work, and even then I'm not sure if I was fully at work. Tomorrow I'm planning on kicking the common colds ass before it gets to me. I'm going to be drinking plenty of juice and water, to try and flush it out. I'm also going to be cleaning my room and making sure its a sterile zone. Speaking of cleanliness, I'm trying to revamp mine. Today I bought a new toothbrush, the type that take batteries and spin in your mouth, and whiting toothpaste. During the weekend at Whole Foods, I bought an organic charcoal bar of soap thats already made my skin feel like heaven.

Eating healthy went well today, but could've gone better. I had chicken and vegetables for dinner, and piece of dark chocolate for dessert. I didn't eat much the rest of the day, due to lack of great options. When I went to the grocery store, I was sure to stock up on things I can eat like greek yogurt and whole wheat bread.

After dinner, I kicked back on my couch and caught up on some tv. I watched the spring premiere of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and enjoyed it as always. It was really cool how they were sure to make it an accessible episode, something both new viewers and committed viewers could enjoy. I also watched Kocktails with Khole, which I enjoyed much more than I anticipated. It was unexpectedly pretty inspirational, because its very similar to what I would want to make a talk show like. It has a very laid back feel to it, with everyone being friendly and joking around, but was still able to tackle serious issues like the #OscarsSoWhite. I'm glad I've got something to add to my references for when I have a show of my own.

Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day. I'm planning on waking up somewhat early, because I've got an appointment with an advisor at my school before class. I'd like to be able to get as much of my shit done as possible before I have to leave, because once I do, I won't be back for most of the day. But hopefully if all goes right during my busy day, I'll be hanging out with my friends at the end of the night!

Monday, January 25, 2016

Botox and Cigarettes (My Orlando Weekend Recap)

With the start of another week, comes new ideas and challenges for myself. Before I get into any of those, lets do some fun weekend recapping.

When we last left our hero (Thats me, Chris) he was pumped as heck for his weekend trip to visit his best bud in Orlando. Little did Christopher know, the weekend was going to be much greater than he had anticipated....

Alright, I'm switching back to first person...

While things didn't always go as planned, it was still a great time which I'll contribute in part to my great company and my practicing to turn negatives into positives. On Friday night, I drove up to Orlando right after work. I sang, danced, and told bad jokes, like any usual Friday night. I imagine myself doing this a lot more often, if my bank account is willing. On Saturday, my buds and I went to see The Hateful Eight. While it was an amazing movie, let me warn you that you may want to prepare yourselves for a long ride. The movie is incredibly lengthy, so it'd be worth shelling out a few more hundreds for a large popcorn. Daisy Domergue is my new problematic fav, hands down.

Over the weekend, my best bud and I went to Whole Foods a total of 4 times. I never really saw myself as a Whole Foods guy (I'm more of a Publix brand kinda guy) but let me fucking tell you, I'm a Whole Foods guy now! The place is incredible, and I really want to start doing some groceries there. I really feel like it'll help me out with my trying to build muscle, and eating healthier resolution. I found plenty of food that had 20+ grams of protein, while what I usually have never exceeds 10. We also went to the mall a couple times, where I bought a great Calvin Klein t-shirt. I never really saw myself as someone into labels, but I guess thats changing.

On Sunday, me and my best bud went to Epcot, the most hip of all the parks. Theres a new exhibit about color, and the different ways they effect out mental state, which was incredibly interesting. One room caused for an incredibly cool photo op. After exploring for a bit, we had a sweet lil lunch in Japan and I discovered my love for green tea ice cream. I'm really hoping they sell it in normal supermarkets, because I can see it becoming my next obsession.

That was my weekend. I'm really proud of how it went, and how calm it was. I tend to work things up in my head, and that tends to be the origin of all my stress, so I'm really proud of myself for straying from that! I'm excited to get my week started tomorrow, and continue all my resolutions!

P.S I'm still working on video ideas so please bear with me, I apologize for your "Chris Content"-less weekends

P.P.S The name of this blog comes from an episode of The Kardashians, which I promised my bud I would name this after. I'm sorry for the disappointing lack of both botox and cigarettes (hmm that gives me a great video idea, actually).

Thursday, January 21, 2016

My Fatherly Instincts or Rising Testosterone?

Today after I got home from work, my friend invited me to go over her house to check out some new furniture. Little did I know, she actually needed help building some furniture. She didn't only invite me to build her furniture, I'm pretty sure she thought she could do it herself. Anyway, I got to her house and got right to work building a desk. I don't know if its my fatherly instinct, or my rising testosterone levels (from working out), but I really enjoyed helping out with the fixing of her room. Luckily, I was compensated with dinner and great conversation. She and I hadn't hung out in a while, so it was really nice to spend time with her.

Look at me building things! Check out the gatorade bottle, gotta to stay hydrated!
I also took my car to the mechanic. I've taken a car to the mechanic before, but not as alone as this trip was. I still needed some help from my parents, figuring out what needed fixing and what to ask for, partly because of a language barrier. For the most part though, this is all on my own. I'm paying for it all myself (luckily I thought mechanics were much more expensive then they are). I'm on the fast track to becoming a stable adult. Stop the world, because I'm getting on!

Tomorrow after work, I'm driving up to Orlando for the long weekend and spending some time with my best bud. We're going to Sea World, which I'm nervous about because haven't been to since watching Blackfish. We may also go to Disney, but for all we know Sea World will literally have us dead. I'm also really excited because we're going to go to the best comic book store, and I finally get to update myself on the adventures of Howard The Duck and Squirrel Girl!

Today was a good day, and I expect tomorrow to be great! I get to take a four hour drive (extra long jam sesh), its a work out day, and its a Friday!

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Realizing "Tired" Isn't Always An Acceptable Excuse

For a quick second I considered skipping writing today, and not working out because I felt tired. It was a load of bullshit, because once I saw this, I realized that I was being stupid and I should be going after my goals, even if I'm "tired." So, I downed a protein shake (let it digest a bit) then got my ass up and worked out! Granted, I didn't work out as much as I want myself to (Ideally I'd do three rounds of the workout, today I only did two) but it was still something! Its better than just sitting around, tweeting dumb shit.

After I worked out, I felt much more upbeat and felt like I could write something! Which is a cool discovery, because maybe that'll turn into a thing for me. I'll work out, and feel inspired to create something!

I'm gonna keep tonights post kinda short because like I said earlier, I'm tired! I had a busy day which involved driving 2 hours to Ft. Lauderdale (for a show with a youtuber, which was one of my sisters christmas presents), work, and school! I've got a busy day again tomorrow, but I'm really looking forward to it!

Reorganizing Priorities

I feel like I'm starting to get my priorities mixed up. Right now I've made eating healthier, and working out a huge priority, and minimized all other things I've wanted to do this year. As much as I want to continue to eat healthier and work out, I feel like I need to also focus on my other resolutions for this year. I should start creating content, and stop spending so much time alone, not putting so much attention on one part of my life. Balance is a major key.
I want to begin to focus on creating videos of different varieties. It'd be great to build a greater presence online, and showcase my different talents (writing, video editing, photography). I'd like to figure out a way to do that, and I'd really appreciate any suggestions. Videos are definitely my strong suit, but I have trouble thinking of things to film about. I can't always take great vacations with my family for vlogs. I'm already writing everyday, but I'd like to transfer all of this over on to a better, more appealing website. While photography isn't my greatest talent, I still consider it a talent, specifically with my old 35mm camera. I'd like to start going on more outdoor adventures and taking pictures, so I should figure out when I can do that.
Obviously, this is all just me thinking out loud, but I think its good to keep you updated on how I'm thinking about this stuff. I mean, if you're going to be keeping up with my life, you should know how and where I'm going to do it, right?

Monday, January 18, 2016

Back 2 Life, Back 2 Progress

I worked out, didn't half ass it, and I feel REALLY good! I started off last weekend by only doing one set, and slowly got into the full three sets today. I was sure to stretch a little before starting, it wasn't much but it still helped. Once I started, I made sure to breath correctly, and go slowly with each exercise. Unfortunately though, I didn't eat as well as I would've liked too this weekend. Being on vacation, it was really hard to good healthy, protein filled foods (with a few exceptions). I think it'd be good to look into what other people do when they're in that situation, whether I should pack some extra food or try harder to find quality food. But now that I'm back home, I don't see keeping up with the healthy diet and continuing to exercise will be hard. I'm excited to see how I feel towards the end of the week, because it'll be my first full week doing everything I've planned. 

During parts of the weekend, I felt stuck in some sort of time warp because I was in the same place physically and mentally as I was two years ago. It made me feel like I was stuck, and wasn't making any progress in myself, which really sucks after how positive I've tried to be this year. But once I started communicating my problems with friends, I began to feel better. I also asked myself why I felt this way, reflected on the past few weeks, and realized I was just playing tricks on myself. There was absolutely no reason for me to feel the way I felt. 

I'm really excited to get back to life after this weekend. I've got a lot to look forward to, like school, work, a show (!), and a possible weekend trip to Orlando to see my best bud! I'm ready to kick this four day weeks ass! 

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Gotta Fan The Fire Under My Ass

Tonight I'm not really in the mood to write a post, which is odd because most nights I feel really inspired to talk about something. 
Today hasn't really been exciting, but I'm hoping for more tomorrow when I go to St. Augustine for my cousins wedding. I may just need to do things to inspire me, instead of doing nothing all day. Or maybe I just need to switch up my mindset. 
While I've been pretty good with eating lots of protein and staying hydrated (for being away from home), I haven't been able to work out. I don't have any clothes for working out, so I can't go to the hotel gym. And the hotel room is way too small to even try anything out. 
It's kind of sucks that yesterday I felt a fire under my ass, but today I didn't do much of nothing. Hopefully when I get home I can do a lot more, like working out and creating content. 

Saturday, January 16, 2016

I Met A Chicken!

This is my first time writing a post on the blog app and it's really weird, but I shouldn't complain since its letting me blog from far off exotic places. That's right, I'm in Jacksonville, Fl for the weekend for a family wedding!
I'm sitting by a bonfire at my cousins house, goofing around with my brother and sister. One of those things that doesn't seem like a big deal in the moment, but probably ends up being a life long memory. We explored the yard for a little bit, needing to walk since we were in the car for at least 8 hours. My cousins have a small section cornered off for their chickens, and I was able to get a pic with them, thankfully.

This morning, long before the car ride, the bonfire and the chickens, I had class. There were multiple things that made me want to turn around (never ending rain, forgetting to take my heart medz, feeling tired) but I put all of that in a tiny box and locked away. A mistake I've made in past semesters was taking advantage of colleges lex attendance policies, which always affected my grade. This year I'm trying to be more responsible, and that means making sure I'm at every class, rain or shine, heart medz or not. 
During the car ride up to Jacksonville, my family and I listed to Hamilton in its entirety. It was my first time hearing it in whole, and let me just say how fucking blown away I was. I can't imagine seeing that on stage, just listening to it is a transformative/inspirational experience. It really motivates you to get shit done, which really matches up well with my life as of late. 
Hamilton kind of put a fire under my ass, and made me remember that I need to start creating some sort of video content and posting it up. I also need to improve this website, and make it look better (whether that means fixing my settings, or finding a new host site). 
Anyway, I'm having a really chill night, and I'm feeling really motivated to do more shit, so I'm a very happy boy! 

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Making Myself Happy

I woke up to some shitty ass Oscar nominations. Granted, I haven't seen a majority of the movies, but judging from what I know from trailers, there are much better choices for nominees. Really, these awards don't mean much, they're cool and all, but it doesn't really give us a definite look at the best movies of the year. If it did, The Force Awakens and Tangerine would've gotten some attention.

I ended up late to class, but it didn't matter much because we were doing some sort of worksheet. I was really proud of myself because I understood a majority of the work. When I didn't, I swallowed nerves/pride and asked the T.A for some help, which is a huge step for me. After class, I stopped by my house to make a quick snack before work. I made a fire ass wrap, and ate it while I opened a package from Amazon. In middle school, there was a book that I would constantly check out from the library that was a step by step look into how Disney makes an animated movie. There were a few nights when I slept with the book by my side. When I graduated, I was really upset that I was never going to be able to read it again. Fast forward 7 years, and I was able to hunt down the book on Amazon and order it. Its now forever mine, and I'll always have the disney film making process handy.

Please note that I made today a great day. I didn't have to ask for help with math, or make a fire ass wrap or treat myself to the book. I made all of that happen, I made myself happy. While I'm still working on being my own major source of happiness, I think today was a really big step in the right direction.

Before I go, I want to thank anyone thats been reading this. It really means a lot to me that you actually have some level of interest in what I have to say. Thanks again, and remember to make it a great day!

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

I Kinda Won The Lottery

Before I start anything, I have to brag that I think I won the lottery. Its about 11 dollars, and I spent 10 on tickets, so I'm only making a dollar BUT STILL!!! I'm a lottery winner! I've joined an elite society of Americans, that comes with perks such as having access to an underground tunnel system and free continental breakfasts in every major city.

On top of winning the lottery, I ate pretty fuckin healthy and worked out! I'm the epitome of health! Its not too hard to do, honestly. I partially treat it like a game, pretending the things I'm doing give me extra life points. And I partially treat it like normal life. I try not to make a huge deal out of the fact that I'm switching up my lifestyle a little bit, because then theres added pressure.

During dinner tonight (Side note: My dad made some fire meatloaf) my dad brought up the fact that I've only made one video this year, and I said i would do one every week. I completely forgot about that, and I'll have to figure out what to shoot a video about later on! Suggestions are greatly appreciated. Also, this morning my dad brought up the fact that I hadn't mentioned his kidney stones in my blog. So shout out to my dads kidney stones.

Yesterday, I told myself I would make today a better day and I did! I put my mind to it and I got that shit done! Heres hoping I make tomorrow just as great, or even greater!

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

A 2 For 1 Diary

Today was a pretty solid day, but considering the standards yesterday set, it was easy to do better! I randomly began to feel sick yesterday while walking to my car after class, and vomited all over myself. I felt like I had the life taken out of me, and slept right when I got home. I realized I wouldn't be able to make it to work, so I called in sick, and slept for the rest of the day. It was incredibly boring, and was excited to make up for it today!

I drove my brother and sister to school, and got complaints from my sister that I hadn't blogged about her surprise party last Friday. She missed out on having her party on a day I felt like writing a diary entry, and now you've all been warned. Plan your lives around my blog if you want it featured.

I was a little anxious about going to class, worried I would begin feeling sick again, but realized that I needed to grow a pair and go learn about linear equations. I drove straight to work afterward, and got to chat with my mom for a bit in her classroom (one of the many perks of working at the same place as your mom) before she went home. Work flew by, partly because I was given a class to substitute so there were a lot of new things to keep my mind occupied.

After work I went grocery shopping, and ran into one of my dads friends who said he enjoyed my New York vlog (Two compliments on my work in one day? RAD!!!). I also ran into a friend from high school who said I looked like a man now. Not sure what I looked like before, but I'm taking it as a compliment! I was able to buy a few more "healthy" foods, specifically breakfasts and snacks, which I'm excited to start eating tomorrow. Unfortunately since I didn't feel well yesterday and was still feeling a bit of the after effects today, I didn't work out. Tomorrow I'm assuming I'll feel well enough to start that up again, but we'll see.

The rest of my night was pretty chill. I had spaghetti with my family, and watched the State of The Union with my brother and sister. And by watch, I mean make comments about almost everything besides politics. I tweeted some of my genius commentary.

Sure yesterday was shitty, but I'm glad I was able to use that as fuel to turn today into a great day. And I'm sure tomorrow will be even better! 

Monday, January 11, 2016

David Bowie, Under Pressure & Me

David Bowie had always been an artist I wanted to get into, but never quite did. I only know a couple of songs from Bowie, and if I compiled them onto an album it'd be titled David Bowie's Basic Hits. I listened to Heroes in high school when I read Perks of Being a Wallflower. It quickly became a high school staple and I would blast it whenever I wanted my own "infinite" moment. I know of the spacey greatness in Life on Mars, and have memories of Lets Dance being on every 80's-centric radio station I've ever listened to. But the Bowie song that's had the biggest impact on my life is his duet with Queen, Under Pressure.
Bowies last big part in Under Pressure is what gets me the most. I'm not sure what was meant when the lyrics were written, whether there's an incredibly deep meaning behind it or not, but this is how I interpret it. We love our family or our partners, even in their darkest moments. We may hate what they do sometimes, but we rarely ever stop loving them. That undying love helps create a positive circle around you. Despite all the pressure we're constantly under, its alleviated by putting love out into the world and making the most of "our last dance," which Bowie seems to have done better than anyone else.

The Highs and Lows of The 2016 Golden Globes


  • Oscar Issac: Theres just something about his presence that makes me giddy. Whether he's flying an X-Wing or addressing the lack of diversity in Hollywood, he looks and acts like a star and I'm 100% here for it. Not only do I have a slight crush on him, but its really awesome to see someone who's also hispanic/latino become one of Hollywoods biggest stars.

  • Julianne Moore's dress: She looks like she's come from the future to kick my ass.

  • Rachel Bloom's win: Probably the most satisfying moment of the night was the unexpected win for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend star Rachel Bloom. I've watched the show since the premiere, and have enjoyed the hell out of every episode but I didn't think it would ever get any recognition.  Bloom, who's also the creator and writer, has clearly put her heart into the show and its great to see her receive praise for it. 
  • The "Yahs Gaga": An anonymous audience member shouted "YAHS GAGA" while Lady Gaga went up to accept her award for AHS: Hotel. The phrase, which was first made popular by this video, has become a huge meme so its weird to have it come up at an awards show. Life imitates art, I guess. 
  • DiCaprio: So many great things happened with Leo tonight. Lets start by recognizing his fear of Lady Gaga, which is sure to be all over the internet tomorrow. We also can't forget his win for The Revenant. While its not his first Globe, it is a strong indicator of whether or not he has a chance of winning his first Oscar, with the past 3 Globe winners also winning the Oscar. Side note: I've seen the trailer for The Revenant multiple times and I'm not sure what its about. Beards? Being buried alive? Snow? 
  • Ricky Gervais: There was an audible groan throughout the world when it was announced Gervais would be hosting the Golden Globes for the millionth time. Known for his "edgy" and "dark" sense of humor, Gervais made every celebrity you've ever loved pity laugh tonight. His monologue was rough, but we got through it together. 
  • Mel Gibson: You know, I'm not sure exactly what it was Mel Gibson did. I was young when he did it, but I faintly remember something antisemitic. Also, a movie with a talking Beaver? Ever since then I've disliked him. There was a moment it looked like Gervais and Gibson were about to get in a drunken fist fight, and I got really excited. 
  • Mozart In The Jungle: Listen, I'm sure the show is great. I'm majorly biased since I haven't seen it, but I really didn't understand why it won. I'm totally going to give it a chance, but even after this win I'm still, for some reason, a bit skeptical. Why is Mozart in the Jungle?
  • Channing Tatums Hair: I don't need to explain this.