Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Learning in Limbo

For a few years now (since graduating high school) I've felt like I've been in some sort of limbo between my adolescence and adulthood. The only problem is, I wasn't quite sure how I'd get from one to the other. Recently, I've been able to grab onto some sort of mental rope and guide myself in the right direction. (Because of this analogy, I keep imagining myself as Sandra Bullock in Gravity)
So what have a learned up until now in this weird child to adult limbo?
  1. You are the biggest part of you. Lets start off with the biggest one. Its helped me to picture myself as a puzzle. I, Chris, am the picture, and everything that makes me who me are the different pieces. We shouldn't be letting these things be the final product, these things should be a part of the final product. 
  2. Everything is fine in moderation. I've had a fear for awhile now that I would become addicted to some sort of vice. I've feared alcohol, gambling, junk food, pretty much everything. But as I've grown older, I've realized that I'm aware of the possibility of getting addicted, and just being aware is a pretty huge fucking deal! I haven't kept it a secret either, all of my friends know of my fear. So what do I do? I enjoy myself. I'm young, and have incredibly limited responsibilities, I'm fine for now. I know my limits, and am continue to learn them. Like I said in #1, I shouldn't be letting these things become who I am. If I do have a vice, it should only be a small part of who I am as a whole. 
  3. Reserve all judgements. This is something I should've learned when I was much younger, but am lucky enough to be learning now. Once we allow ourselves to look at people equally, no matter how odd we believe them to be at first, we open ourselves up to so much more knowledge and growth, and isn't that what life is all about? 
  4. Don't let moments be longer then they need to be. Something about myself that I continue to work on is not letting my anger get the best of me. I tend to make spats into larger arguments since I don't keep myself from letting go which leads to larger, unnecessary problems. 
  5. You teach people how to treat you. This is such an elementary school lesson, but somehow still so relevant to my life. People tend to call themselves 'stupid' or 'dumb' but fail to realize that when they call themselves that, it makes it look like its okay for others to do the same. But also, if someone calls us something terrible and we don't do anything to stop it, we're teaching that person that its alright to do that. We may not be doing it consciously, but we're still doing it. Its something we have to try to be more aware of. 
  6. Every single person is trying to be recognized. We want to be supported in the belief that we matter. One way we can help our friends and family feel like they matter is by listening, and trying to understand what they need. Once we do this for someone, they feel recognized. 
Perhaps something I said here was wrong, and I'll disagree with myself in a year? Thats alright! Right now, I'm the best me I can be! And in a minute, I'm going to be an even better me! 

So am I a full blown adult now? Hell fucking no, and I'm not quite sure when I will be. But I'm on my way, and I'm proud of that.